Before the Show

 Falling in love is the most euphoric feeling in the world.  When you are a Bisexual man with an old school romantic soul falling in love with a person who sleeps with others for a living is a challenge though.  That is one problem that most couples never have to face.  It is not the most common career that one has, but for me, it doesn’t matter.  It wasn’t always this easy though.

Let me explain:

My journey to finding the man I love came from my own journey to discovering myself and who I am when it came to my sexual orientation.  I knew I was never 100% straight from the moment I hit puberty.  But going to an all-boy’s Catholic school was not the easiest place to explore.  Especially when the school is small, and everyone knows everyone.  So, I began my exploration like most teen boys do, by watching porn.  I continued to only look at porn, both straight and gay for years, and I looked at other porn besides the basics. 

By the time I got into College, I made friends with Straight, Gay, Bi individuals and everything and anything in-between.  I still watched my porn but also tried dating, mainly women as I still was unsure of myself and if I wanted to be with a man.

Fast forward to the summer of 2020.  This was the definitive year I chose to fully explore my sexuality.  I had told one of my closest friends, who also happened to be gay, that if I were to explore my sexuality with a man, I would want it to be with him.  Well, that summer we did just that and for the next year we continued to explore.  My feelings for him changed and he told me the same.  However, that changed by the end of September 2021.  He decided to be with someone who was already comfortable and confident in their sexuality.  This did hurt, I am not going to lie, but now I am glad it happened.

To distract myself from that pain, I decided to start the next chapter in my life and started looking for a place to call my own home.  By the beginning of December, I signed the papers and became a homeowner.  This allowed me the space to start my life on my terms.  By the Spring of 2022 I started to come out to my family and friends.  My mother has been nothing but supportive of me and my decision to be myself.  It's what comes next that I did not plan on happening.