The First Date

 As the relationship progressed it has come with other challenges that are more emotionally taxing than previously thought.  An example will be when Nahuel gets into an argument with his family and it seems the whole world is against him.  It is hard for me because I am not next to him and hold him tight and tell him that everything will be OK.  I can through videocalls and in text messages.  It helps but it is not the most ideal situation when these scenarios arise.  The same the other way around.

An example of that is on October 1^st of this year I was coming home from Italy with my best friend and there was a problem with her flight home.  I booked all the flights, hotels, tours, everything and when we left the check in counter informed us that her name was not matching her passport.  This caused a major headache for us (which is an understatement) and an extra $1600.00 dollars later she got a flight home.  After traveling from 3 a.m. Rome time to 1 p.m. Boston time, I was tired and just wanted to get home and go to bed.  I get home and discover the water heater broke while I was away and began to flood my condo.

Needless to say I had an emotional breakdown after that.  I called Nahuel crying and he called me back in the middle of a recording session.  I knew he was at a recording session but did not expect him to stop recording and call me back.  That did calm me down a little and with the help of my mom, I cleaned up the water as best I can and began the recovery and rebuilding stage of the condo.  I wish I could say that it is all loveable moments like this; it isn’t.

We are a typical couple living, quite literally, on two ends of the world.  We argue about when we will meet for the first time and try to find a solution that benefits both of us without too many unforeseen consequences.  This also leads to an argument, normally him trying to tell me that I do not possess enough courage to go after what I want; meaning him.  We argued about marriage which appears to be the most assured way to be together without too many obstacles.  However, I have reservations about using marriage for this reason. 

I view marriage as something sacred and to be honored with integrity and purity.  Also, we hadn’t even met in person and that was a more important step to take at this point.  Luckily, he agreed and we made plans to do this. 

I finally made a plan for us to go to Aruba the second week in February.  We were both very excited and more so for me as I would be able to spend his birthday and Valentines Day with him (side note, his birthday is February 14).  This helps me to remember that.  So I went about buying tickets and booking resorts and activities for us to do.  As everything was finalized I began to realize that I couldn’t just pack and leave without telling someone.  So I decided to sit my mother down and have her meet Nahuel over video call.

It went well, my mother got along well with him and thought he was nice and Nahuel thought my mother was so sweet.  That was until one week later she decided to tell me exactly what she thought which was that he was a con artist, possible drug dealer or even murderer.  She began to imagine all the negative stereotypes of Latin men and women that have been spun in media and social media by vile, disgusting, human beings. I then argued that Nahuel is nothing like that and she does not believe me, partially so she can be right about the situation just for the sake of being right.  The other is her protective instinct as a mother.  I respect this but to an extent, because all I wanted was her support in this situation and she chose not to.

After her rant about what she really thinks of him she orders me not to say anything to him about her real feelings.  Of course, I do not listen to her order and tell Nahuel right away.  This was exceptionally hard for him to hear this and honestly it was hard for me too.  I then spoke very little about Nahuel to my mother as I did not want to have another argument with her about him.  I also had no choice but to get into an argument with her if she brought him up in conversation and would increasingly make demands about my communication with her when I am in Aruba.  I relented each time, which I honestly regret doing.

Due to her frustration and constant arguing about our plans, I decided not to tell my father or my stepmother or any other family members I have.  Only my friends know and they have so far been supportive of our relationship.  One of them even agreed to come and pick me up from the airport when I returned home.  After that I went about my days preparing to go to Aruba while also having a contractor repair the damages in my condo. I timed it perfectly for them to do the work while I was away.